TORT - Episode 41 - "Deck the Halls"

Check out the latest ep of TORT where we discuss Christmas past

TORT - Episode 40 - "Put'em in a Body Bag"

Check out the latest ep of TORT where we discuss The Karate Kid movie

Comic Book Recommendations - Batman - Part 3

Check out Part 3 of my Comic Book recommendations for Batman

TORT - Episode 39 - "It Takes Two To Shenmue"

Check out the latest ep of TORT where we discuss DCC 2014 and Shenmue

TORT - Episode 38 - Iron Man Origins: The Dark World

Check out the latest ep of TORT where we discuss Batman Arkham Origins, Thor the Dark World and Iron Man 3

5 Reasons 2 Hate: Batman Arkham Origins

Don't say I didn't tell ya so

TORT - Episode 37 - "JP3, PS4, USF4"

Check out the latest ep of TORT where we discuss Jurassic Part 3, PS4 and Ultra Street Fighter 4

Comic Book Recommendations - Batman - Part 2

Check out Part 2 of my Comic Book recommendations for Batman

TORT - Episode 36 - "Mr. DNA's Betrayal"

Check out the latest ep of TORT where we discuss The Lost World and Ultra Street Fighter 4

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

FGC Today

I just feel like ranting right now. If you don't know, I'm a fighting game fan; mainly Street Fighter. But some recent events have happened that have just pissed the hell out of me. If you are unaware, Capcom had a reality stream show called Cross Assault. Ten players were selected to two different teams, Team Street Fighter and Team Tekken, to compete for $25,000 by playing the upcoming game Street Fighter X Tekken, which comes out March 6th, 2012. You may have read some news regarding the most recent Cross Assault episodes.

Most unorganized SHIT EVER
Here is a quick rundown. Each team has a coach; for team Street Fighter it was Alex Valle and for Team Tekken it was a guy named Aris. Apparently, Aris “sexual harassed” on of his players; Miranda Pakozdi aka Super_Yan. He said some odd things to her like inquiring about her bra size. Also, apparently she was being treated differently and getting no coaching because she was female. This blew up into the first mainstream drama the Fighting Game Community has experienced. Last night, a player named Long Island Joe, had a stream in which various players called in to express their thoughts. This included a call from Aris himself. Aris explained that the entire situation blew up and that he wasn't doing anything he wasn't supposed too. He said he was treating everyone the way he normally treats people and that some people can handle and come can't. Now, LI Joe told the stream that he knew that Aris was a nice guy. Another female player, Ciji Thornton aka StarSlay3r, also called in expressing that Aris was also a good person. She also displayed her thoughts towards Super_Yan stating that if something happened, that she needed to take care of it, not wait and just forfeit her spot. In regards to this, on the first to last episode of Cross Assault, Super_Yan did forfeit her position which lead to the discovery of all her concerns.(Long Island Joe's stream:

Long Island Joe(left) w/ Seth Killian(right) Mad props to Joe for the BEST STREAM EVER
Ok, now, I thought Cross Assault was a terrible idea. I hate reality TV and the fact that it mixed with something I like, is bogus. I mean, I was happy that something this big was happening, but now that I see what has unraveled, I am very disappointed. I read a Giant Bomb article that Jowski sent me and I am going over the edge. Aris explains that sexual harassment is part of the scene and that fighting games wouldn't be the same without it. Now, I'm assuming he means hitting on girls, but still, dude, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I DO NOT, feel that this is part of the scene and if everyone thinks it is, then consider me an ex-member of the Fighting Game Community. This is something so great and he is making it seem like some high school bull shit. I mean, are we supposed to alienate anyone that wants to be part of these games? Like FGC is some high society? No. It is a fucking video game and anyone that can pick up a controller or stick is allowed to play it. Cross Assault was FGC's first attempt at something mainstream and because of this bullshit drama, it has tainted the Fighting Game Community in my opinion.

Aris(right) w/ Mike Ross(left)
How does anyone expect to get big when something like sexual harassment is being stapled as “a part of the scene?” How can justify something like this? It is thinking like this that will keep fighting games, along with a piece of video games, shunned for the public eye. Now, whenever FGC will try to make a push to get big, everyone will think that it is linked to illegal behavior and will automatically be cast out. FGC today is so immature and so unwilling to adapt that you might as well put a gun to its head and pull the trigger. Players don't care about what others think but when something like this happens, you have to. This selfish thinking and childlike behavior is not going to be accepted if FGC tries to make more advancements towards a larger scene. Now, some players don't want it to get bigger because players will have to behave like adults; which would eliminate a lot of attitude the game has. But is someone like Aris is saying that crude behavior is part of the scene, then I say make all players behave themselves. I'm sorry, but I'd rather be considered a polite bitch than a womanizer.

One more thing about Joe's stream, Isaiah TriForce Johnson called in an explained something that actually made me give him mad respect. He explained that the guys need to leave the female players alone and accept them into the community. That is was a shitty thing to do to mistreat someone because of their sex and it was making the community look like shit. I agree. I do not want to be a part of something that is so selfish and high-horsed. Everyone should be accepted regardless of anything.

In closing, Cross Assault did nothing but hurt FGC. I've been interested and consider myself a part of the community for a couple years now and I have not experienced anything like this. I mean, it's up to these big named players to decide the future of everything. If we get more situations and issues like with Aris and Super_Yan, then kiss the big spot light goodbye and FGC will have no choice but to stay underground. I mean, this is so insulting and I feel the events on Cross Assault has made FGC take steps backwards. This is scene is made up of mostly men, but after this shit, it seems it is made up of mostly boys. GROW THE FUCK UP PEOPLE!

Update!!! Aris has posted an apology in regards to his recent actions(Source: Also, I hate streaming news from other sites like this, but I feel everyone should know:

I understand that I said some controversial statements on the Cross Assault show, and a lot of people are deeply offended with what was said. When I made these statements, I was very heated as I felt that the culture of a scene I have been a part of for over 15 years was being threatened. I unfortunately used extreme examples in the heat of the moment and feel that my statements don't actually communicate how I feel. This is similar to what people say when they get into an argument with their girlfriend, and they say things that they deeply regret. I sincerely apologise if I have offended anyone. My statements do not reflect those of Capcom or myself. The last thing I want to do is get them in trouble for giving me and the fighting game community the opportunity to have an amazing show like this.

What I was trying to communicate is that mild hostility has always been a defining characteristic of the fighting game scene. Back when arcades were more prevalent, people didn't like newcomers, and players needed to fight and pay their dues to get respect. The debate I was in was with a person who supported professional leagues, who have intent to censor the community to make it more accessible. I think the sink or swim mentality is something that defined our culture, and if that succeeds it removes something which has been important to help create some of the best fighting game players of our time. I was unfortunately unable to make this point clearly. Again, I am deeply sorry for offending anyone. This was a combination of the people taking things out of context and my own inability in the heat of the moment to defend myself and the community I have loved for over 15 years.


All I have to say about this is GOOD. An apology and explanation should be given. I'm happy that he has recanted and clarified. Now, whether people believe it or not, is up to them. What do you think?

Final Update: Conclusions and final discussions regarding all the above will be discussed on Geek Juice Radio, episode 11, which will air Thursday, March 8th, 2012, at 6pm EST, 5pm CST, 4pm MST, 3pm PST.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Geek Juice Radio: Episode 9

Episode 9 is now up and available! Click the link below to listen/download and remember you can always listen to Geek Juice Radio at

Episode 9 - Click to Download/Listen
Discussions about the Oscars and 3D Movies featuring Charley McMullen, Tom Badguy, Kevin Daley, and Alex Jowski.
(Episode originally aired 02/23/12)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Geek Juice Radio: Episode 8

Episode 8 is now up and available! Click the link below to listen/download and remember you can always listen to Geek Juice Radio at

Episode 8 - Click to Download/Listen
The Geek Juice clan indulge in Part 2 of a "Top Lists" gameshow featuring Alex Jowski, Tom Badguy, Kevin Daley, and Charley McMullen.
(Episode originally aired 02/16/12)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Review: Marvel Universe Vs. Wolverine

Marvel Universe Vs. Wolverine(2011)
Written by Jonathan Maberry
Illustrated by Laurence Campbell

Marvel has taken a liking to zombies in their comics. Everyone is well aware of Marvel Zombies but some might not know of another zombie apocalyptic series. Jonathan Maberry has written two graphic novels featuring the unraveling of the Marvel universe via a disease that turns people into primitive cannibalistic creatures. Maberry has written many entries in the Black Panthers series and Marvel Zombies Return: Wolverine. MU Vs The Punisher was the first installment, which I enjoyed. It sets the stage for the after effects of the virus. But I wanted to focus on this novel featuring Wolverine since it focuses on the beginning. The kill count will be massive; this is Marvel Universe Vs. Wolverine.

We open with a prologue – and we start with two deaths. Hmm, that was quick. Wolverine narrates that pretty much everything has gone to shit as we see him laying waste to two X-Men; Kitty Pride(I think) and Peter Rasputin; Colossus. An adamantium claw to the brain will do that. Wolverine recollects that Peter was his best friend which ties into his emotion in having to kill his comrade. Though, I don't remember Wolverine and Colossus being that close(I gotta read more X-Men).

He's your dead friend
Cut to the present where Wolverine is watching a hockey game on TV where we see Spider-Man battling Rhino. He takes over the foe and begins to feast on his flesh. I guess this would put up a red flag. Wolverine joins Reed Richards in his lab where they have captured Spider-Man. Richards reveals that Spidey has been taken by a virus. The virus has increased his abilities but his brain functions have de-evolved. Also, the web slinger seems to have gotten a taste for people and his digestive system has adjusted to breaking down raw meat.

Wolverine continues to narrate that everyone thinks it is an isolated incident and business resumes as normal. We segway to Logan and Psylocke doing their super hero thing when she escapes through a manhole. Wolverine catches up to find only the hand of Psylocke by the manhole. Police come and Logan tracks down his female partner to find only her bones. Back to the Fantastic Four's lab as more questions are raised regarding Spider-Man. Cut back to the streets as Wolverine contacts Beast to see if he can get more insight where he is interrupted by a mugging. Logan incapacitates the mugger – or so he thought. For what he though was a mugging was just a father trying to get his child from a feasting mother. This is one of those “Oh shit” moments, let me tell ya.

Shit just got real!
The virus begins to spread more quickly as we see a school bus full off children attacking and eating people on the streets screaming “meat.” This scene is actually pretty funny to me. A cheerful bunch of school children turn into flesh hungry spawns of hell. We are then told that Warren Worthington, Angel, was supposed to be arriving from Utopia to aid. He has not reported and Logan makes his way to Central Park to find him. Upon his arrival, we see a shadow of what appears to be Dr. Octopus carrying people with his claws. Wolverine makes quick work with a decapitation and Doc Oc is down. Very anti climactic with this scene. Just one panel and Doc Oc is down. Logan discovers that Angel has been taken by the virus and is forced to kill him. He then realizes that Utopia must be infected in which leads into the prologue followed by an image of a bloody Wolverine standing over his dead friends. So far, I'm intrigued but I kind of wish some of these battles where Logan is slicing and dicing his fellow X-Men would be a bit longer and more descriptive. By not doing that, it doesn't make as much of an impact and I'm left kind of not caring.

Wolverine and the ex-X-men
Wolverine reports back to the F4 lab to give his report. He is detailed by Richards and Hank Pym that this new retrovirus had to have been caused or created by someone that is in constant contact with the criminal underworld that was exposed to a chemical known as Survivor 118. They need to reach this person because they have theorized that since Spider-Man is patient zero, someone else my have the chemical and they can use it to manufacture an anti-body. This person is Frank Castle, the Punisher. Logan finds skull wearing enemy of the underworld battling some of the infected with Hawkeye. Wolverine helps them make quick work of their foes and inquires Frank about Survivor 118. Castle explains that he made the bust and wasted the criminals importing the substance. He was exposed to the chemical but explained that the only effect it had was some vomiting. The rest washed away through the sewer.

Damn, all in a day's work, I guess
Logan reports and Richards says that The Punisher's blood can be used since he did not fall ill to the chemical. After a small argument regarding Logan bringing Frank back whether he likes it or not, leads our heroes through some skirmishes in the streets of New York to the F4 building. They enter and find that the building has been invaded. They make their way up to the lab where they find Spider-Man has escaped and his sharing a human body as a meal with the newly infected Beast. They engage as Wolverine tries to subdue Spidey while Beast makes his advance towards Frank. But one shotgun blast later, Beast is headless and no more. The Punisher finds an uninfected but injured Reed Richards as he explains that the building was overrun and he could not prevent it. Then out of the shadows emerges a new foe. The Thing has been infected and with two cannibal bitches at his side, he plans to feed himself and his women on some new flesh. “It's cannibal time!”

The Thing be pimpin'
Now, I love The Punisher; one of my favorite Marvel characters. The fact that he teams up with Wolverine is great. Though they must work together, their personalities clash and they have to overcome their personal beliefs and try to work together. You can feel the struggle as you would expect in any survival horror.

The battle with The Thing begins with a bashing punch to Wolverine right on the chin(ouch). The Punisher responds with a few grenades forcing Ben Grimm to retreat. Hank Pym is found unharmed and explains that the virus is getting out of control. Frank cuts himself and leaves some blood in a test tube saying that that's all they will get from him. They decide to head to Elizabeth, New Jersey where T'Challa, the Black Panther, is setting up a staging area. The heroes make their way and we have a narrative by Logan describing that either people are with them with their travel, infected, or are awaiting an outcome; where we see an image of Dr. Doom watching what is unfolding.

Cut to Ben Grimm asking an unknown figure for his help to get “the wizards”(which is what the new cannibal race refers to Reed Richards, Pym, and the other scientists). Meanwhile, more heroes band together and are told that a cannibal army is approaching. They decide to stand their ground at a bridge to buy the scientists enough time to get to Elizabeth. We are then revealed that the army is lead by the Hulk, who has been infected. The morale suddenly decreases. The assault begins with Logan giving an order to the Human Torch to light'em up. The advance is shortlived as the Hulk dispenses Johnny with a single massive clap.

Fire, BAD!
The battle begins and we see heroes such as Captain America team up with villains like Juggernaut to combat the infected army. Wolverine then engages with Hulk in an epic battle. Wolverine narrates that fighting the Hulk seems impossible also including that the Hulk is the strongest he has ever been. The battle seems grim and Hulk's battle against Logan almost seems one when we see an enraged Johnny Storm come back into action and sacrifice himself in the form of a nova explosion, destroying the bridge. But not before Hulk bites and rips a souvenir off of Wolverine.

He later wears Logan's arm as a necklace
Ok, adding a character with the infection like the Hulk was a good move. Hulk is another one of my favorites but trying to imagine him as a cannibal power being demanding flesh and blood; BADASS. I was also impressed with the sacrifice of the Human Torch on a personal level. I don't really like the Fantastic Four but for the fact that the writer chose Johnny Storm to make the supreme “Vegeta-like suicide” explosion makes me give the character a little bit more credit and a shred of respect. Now, this may be the action part of my brain talking, but I haven't liked how short the action scenes in this movie have been so far. The individual fights only seem to last 1-2 pages while this epic battle on the bridge only lasted about 3. I WANT TO SEE MORE FIGHTING AND BLOODSHED, DAMMIT!

Cap, Deadpool and Castle find Wolverine laying in the river where it seems the Hulk has removed one of his arms. Logan explains how it won't grow back and Cap decides that they need someone as a scout. Wade Wilson is chosen and makes is way to monitor Hulk's army. We are then revealed that Deadpool himself has fallen to the disease but seems to have retained his normal “breaking the fourth wall” attitude as we seem him discuss his own disease with himself in a very Gollum, Lord of the Rings way.

Even in the face of the cannibal apocalypse, Deadpool is funny as hell
Their plan is hold at a bridge while Luke Cage has left to get transport and they need to hold off the diseased army long enough for the transports to arrive and evacuate the scientists. During the calm before the storm, Wolverine sees that Hulk is not with the army and deduces that he is taking an alternate route to intercept the scientists. Wolverine makes his leave to meet the green menace and takes Deadpool with him. They engage the Hulk as the front line begins attacking the army. During the attack, Frank Castle notices something horrifying. Captain America has fallen victim to the virus. With his last human breath, he asks Frank to please make sure he doesn't live to be the enemy. Frank's last words to Cap:

Followed by a panel stating: "BLAM!"
Back to Wolverine versus the Hulk, a classic Marvel matchup by the way, we see Logan take the advantage and strike Banner his new patented claw to the fucking brain(seriously, this is like, Wolverine's new move in this book). The Hulk is incapacitated, the transports escape, and Frank fends off the army. We then segway to “Two Years Later” at the North Pole. We see Reed Richards and Hank Pym and we are led to believe that they are experimenting on some infected still trying to make a cure. We close by seeing the scouting party returning and are exposed to an old man Logan...for fuck's sake, it has on been two years, why the FUCK is he an old man. Hmm, weird way to end it.

I think this graphic novel is.....decent. It really lacks in the action department. I mean, c'mon, this is a Wolverine comic. I don't want detailed discussions about disease, anti-bodies, etc. I want action. And the action in this book is very short and not that great. I mean, Wolverine has to use the same kill move twice in this book. You can't tell me that you couldn't take a character like Logan and think of better ways to end it. Now, I know that claws to the brain would be the most effective, but this is a comic, lets use our imagination people! Aside from that, this comic leads well into Marvel Universe Vs. The Punisher(which I will review some time). I don't like the ending but maybe Maberry will continue his MU Vs. series with another comic. In closing, I would say give this book a look. If you like survival horror and an absurd kill count of Marvel heroes and villains, you will enjoy it.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Star Wars Episode I in 3D

Oh, it still sucks.

Geek Juice Radio: Episode 7

Episode 7 is now up and available! Click the link below to listen/download and remember you can always listen to Geek Juice Radio at

Episode 7 - Click to Download/Listen
The Geek Juice clan indulge in Part 1 of a "Top Lists" gameshow featuring Alex Jowski, Tom Badguy, Kevin Daley, and Charley McMullen.
(Episode originally aired 02/09/12)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Doing the Twitter Thing

I am breaking my hipster shell and have set up a Twitter. Please feel free to follow and I will follow you back!


I some how feel as though I have betrayed a part of myself...

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Review: Batman The Dark Knight: Golden Dawn

Batman The Dark Knight: Golden Dawn(2012)
Written and Penciled by, David Finch

While strolling through the Batman titles at, I came across Golden Dawn. The description seemed decent and the illustrations looked godlike. So I picked it up and WHOOOA; pretty disappointing. This is a book by David Finch, who also penciled Ultimatum(penciled, not wrote), as well as plenty of various Ultimate Marvel comics. I don't believe I've read anything he has written. But after this, I think he should stick to drawing. Here we go; Golden Dawn.

We open our graphic novel with a Bruce Wayne flash back. He remembers playing with a childhood friend named Dawn Golden – STOP. ANOTHER friend from Bruce's childhood? -sigh- Not very original. I get the feeling sometimes that Wayne's childhood lasted, I don't know, 100 FUCKING YEARS! Dawn Golden was quiet and Bruce didn't really like her. The two run outside where Bruce plays with a treasured kite. Dawn steals the kite from Bruce and lets it fly away making her happy. Psst! Over here....METAPHOR! Because of this act, Bruce then changes his views on the young girl.

I always hated box kites any way
We cut back to the present and we are with Commissioner Gordon at the GCPD. Apparently, Dawn Golden has been missing and everyone is wondering if she was kidnapped or murdered. Segway to Batman on a rooftop witnessing a mysterious figure purchase the drug “Titan.” It is revealed that the figure is Killer Croc and Batman jumps into attack mode as he bares down on the unsuspecting villain. The two scuffle until Batman manages to force an electric sign to drop on his foe's head. Once Croc is downed, Batman begins his interrogation on the location of Dawn. Croc tells him that he sold her to someone that owned a club named Lars Beck.

We cut to....hobos around a hobo fire. Oooook? Where's this going? One of them wonder away to find a murdered body. Then we cut to the Batcave – WAIT! That's it? Oh, it is an ongoing subplot that will tie in with the ending. Sorry, just some random scene of a hobo gathering, then corpse, then to the Batcave in the span of one page is a little hard to digest. Thank god I have the graphic novel otherwise I would have really been confused. At the Batcave, Batman finds where the club is located and makes his way there. He discovers the building abandoned and begins to snoop around and discovers Dawn's amulet. Suddenly, he is surprised by the new owner of the club, the Penguin.

Penguin's goons attack but are unsuccessful. Batman easily dodges their gunfire and counters with a weird Bat-tool I have not seen. Basically, it is a flexible piece of steel that bounces around the room and binds the henchmen. If that wasn't enough, it shortly then electrocutes them rendering the pack of degenerates useless. Penguin tries to escape and Batman follows. A quick cut to Gordon once again, to show that Killer Croc has escaped. Back to Batman's hunt for Penguin, he finds him and demands information....VERY VIOLENTLY. Batman starts breaking Penguin's arms and legs and just before we're wondering why Bats has gone off the deep end, Croc appears and shoves the caped crusader's head into a wall.

Reminds me of "The God Damn Batman"
We then see a small scene of a young girl breaking into the Batmobile and taking off. Then we segway to....fuck, back to the hobos. The homeless crew walks around Gotham in the rain, terrified at their previous discovery. They feel that they must stick together and they should be ok. A flash of lightning then reveals their hunter following close by. Then a cut to the residence of Jason Blood. Jason Blood? Hmm, one moment while I use my handy-dandy Batman Encyclopedia. - flip,flip- Apparently, he's a guy that holds a mystic bond with a demon known as Etrigan. Ok then, thank you, Robert Greenberger. We then see Jason Blood turn into the demon, Etrigan. Then we cut to Batman strapped to a pillar covered in explosives. His monologue reveals that the Amulet he found made him cripple the Penguin and that it must have some force of rage. It is revealed that Croc has been working with Penguin as the birdlike foe plans to view his destruction from a TV set. Cut to, god damn fuckin' hobos, what appears to be the Ragman leaping in for a kill on one of our unsuspecting homeless.

Tonight I dine on hobo soup
The Ragman prepares to feast on his prey when he interrupted and stopped by Etrigan. The Ragman flees claiming that Etrigan no longer has the power to stop, I don't know, but because this guy said so, it must be true. The hobo begins to show his thanks when Etrigan proclaims that he cares not for him and....needlessly kills the, why did he do th – Oh, we're just going to cut to some other event, ok. Seriously, maybe some back story or monologue to explain what this prick does would help. The event I spoke of is a half page of Alfred trying to help the girl that stole the Batmobile. Then we cut to Gordon and some cops in a diner where a new detective named Forbes, has a shouting match with our beloved Commissioner. Which is yet ANOTHER SUBPLOT. Dear god, a lot is being shoved into this.

Forbes = Prick
Back to a constricted Batman where Penguin reveals that he is about to blow up which forces the double crossed Croc to flee. Batman busts through his binds like a big strong man and escapes. Another quick cut back to the girl in the Batmobile where Alfred convinces her to drop her agenda and return the car. She agrees. Batman starts a search of his surroundings and is lead to a door containing Dawn Golden. He retrieves her and makes his way back to the returned Batmobile. Over to Penguin in the hospital, he tells ANOTHER CLOAKED FIGURE that he did the best he did what was asked of him. We are then revealed to a devious grin of a green faced, red eyed...person, I guess, asking Penguin to help him open the gates of hell. FUUUUUUCK, another subplot.

I don't care who this person is
Shuffle back to the young Batmobile thief and we see her approach her home. We are shown that her father is being sweated by, I don't know, some gangster guys or something, wanted information from Wayne Industries. If he does not get them what they want, then they will hurt his family. Back to the Batmobile, where Dawn unveils her terrifying past. She tells Batman that her father led a cult and worshiped the devil, Hell, evil; all that good stuff. Dawn details that she was brought into this world to be sacrificed so that her father may live longer than a normal human and gain demonic powers. His plot failed and he was unable to kill her and then died of old age. She explains that she never feels free of him and that she is still chasing her. Now, this is good n' all, but when are we going to be shown a deeper relationship between her and Bruce?

Return to the GCPD, where this Frobes subplot is trying to gain my attention, we find that Forbes has planted drugs in the Commissioner's I to expect that someone would buy that? Oh shit, they do and Gordon is dragged out of his office and Forbes is to replace him. How ridiculously lame. You'd figure it would take more than that prick Forbes obviously planting drugs in his desk to Gordon removed. Very dull, very unimaginative. But the UNINTERESTING scene is short lived as we rejoin Etrigan following the Ragman in the sewers.

Etrigan finds the Ragman and engages only to be stopped by Blaze. What? Who the fuck is this now? Why does this book bring in so many fucking characters?! I don't know, fuck it. Apparently, Blaze can return Etrigan his full power if he decides to be her minion. He does and joins Ragman and his devil mistress, owner, chick. Whoever, she looks STUPID! Dawn finishes her story to Batman detailing her kidnapping which was done by Ragman. They head to Dawn's apartment to grab a few things but we are left with an image of fucking demons crawling all over the building. FUUUUUUUCK. Why are demons in Batman?!

Aren't you not supposed to feed these guys after a certain time?
The two are attacked and Batman is quickly overran by, fuckin' gremlins, whatever, I really stopped caring at this point. Dawn is taken and we are cut to a sacrificial gathering where Ragman intends to kill Dawn. Cut back to an awaking Batman who is engaged in combat by Etrigan. The two duke it out but Batman seems to have the upper hand. He then taunts Etrigan saying that he wasn't as powerful as he was when he had his “rhyme.” I'm assuming that this is his main source of power but there's no way in hell I'm even going to get into that. Etrigan then turns on Blaze since she refuses to give the demon all his power.

Sick burn?
Back to the sacrifice where Ragman reveals that he isn't Ragman but Dawn's father(oh my god, what a shock, blah, blah). This would be shocking if it wasn't so OBVIOUS and maybe if I had GAVE A SHIT about the characters! His attempt to sacrifice Dawn is interrupted by Etrigan and Batman and – WHAT THE FUCK?! No, it can't be. There's no fucking way. Etrigan announces he and Batman as “The Demonic Duo.” How fucking LAME is that? Seriously! This is fucked up on so many levels. What a piece of shit. I don't know if this a joke or just piss poor writing. Either way, it is terrible.

The two battle their way to Dawn but are too late. She is dead and the sacrifice is over. Fuck it, I didn't give a flying donkey shit any way, I barely knew who she was. Dawn's father begins his laughter but not until Batman gives the signal to Etrigan to...blow up his head...Yep, Dawn is killed, her father restored and then her father killed in two pages. Wow. Way to make me care Finch.

We close the novel with the young thief confronting some, I don't know, dudes at a dock- FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! She gives them a jamming device to save her father's life but we find out that Batman is the one that made her give it to them – and you know what, fuck it, it's over.

This comic was very poor. One million subplots that I didn't care about, one million characters that I didn't care about, pointless deaths, deaths of characters I didn't even get a chance to relate to; just a jumbled mess. I guess all the subplots are there to make me want to continue reading The Dark Knight series but I've had all I could take. On a positive note, the illustrations were awesome. Great job. David Finch needs to stick with that. But the plot of the heap of crap is just unbearable. I mean, hobo hunting subplots and demons from hell is not my kind of Batman. Take what you will from this but I will not be continuing this series. Fuckin' Demonic Duo.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Cross Assault Submission

Capcom has teamed up with IPlayWinner and Team Spooky to start a reality TV Show called "Cross Assault." They are accepting submissions and above is mine. Hopefully they will choose me.......just kidding.

For more information on Cross Assault, visit

Friday, February 3, 2012

Geek Juice Radio: Episode 6

Episode 6 is now up and available! Click the link below to listen/download and remember you can always listen to Geek Juice Radio at

Episode 6 - Click to Download/Listen
Discussions about Robin Hood: Thief of Wives, The Skeleton of Cadavra and Super Bowl XLVI featuring Kevin Daley, Tom Badguy, Charlie McMullen, Alex Jowski, and Numb Renditions
(Episode originally aired 02/02/12)

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Review: Batman: Noel

Batman: Noel(2011)
Written and Illustrated by Lee Bermejo

I got this graphic novel in the mail yesterday and I heard some pretty good things about it. I opened it up last night when I got home and couldn't put it down until it was finished. Lee Bermejo, who also did the illustrations for the Brian Azzarello book Joker, has really outdone himself. His art work is very impressive and provides a lot of atmosphere. This is the first book of his I have read that he has written and I enjoyed it thoroughly. It's “A Batman Christmas Carol;” lets dive into Batman: Noel.

We start off with quotes and praises to Charles Dickens. Batman: Noel is a story told like A Christmas Carol. We have narrative about a man named Bob that is walking through Gotham City delivering a bag of unknown substance for the Joker. The narrative describes Bob's life and also details that this story was a little different based on the way the narrator's father told it. The narrator also explains that the story may be hard to swallow and that the listener should be ready to bare some unreal scenarios. As Bob is getting closer to his delivery point, we see Batman romping around the rooftops.

Bob being confronted by Batman
Bob makes his delivery through the broken door of an abandoned building. In exchange, a wrapped gift is given and Bob heads out. He is then stopped by Batman who demands answers on the location of the Joker. Bob reveals that he was just given instructions to drop and pickup and that he has never even seen Joker. It is shown that the wrapped gift is in fact a large amount of money and Bob is to transport to another location. Batman stops this, however, and ridicules Bob for being a petty criminal. Bob forgets about the money and is allowed to escape as Batman has attached a homing beacon to our alleged criminal. The caped crusader then busts in the door to the building in which the delivery was made only to find a note stating that he just missed the Joker and is called an “Old Man.”

"Old Man" would be referencing Ebeneezer Scrooge 
Bob returns home in panic and is greeted by his son, Tim. Tim shows his father that he made a Christmas tree out of a dead plant, a beer bottle, a tin can, and an army man figurine. Cut to the Batcave where Bruce explains to Alfred that since the money is cut off, the Joker is sure to visit Bob and collect. Alfred inquires if it is wise to risk a man with a child and Bruce explains that everything he does is risky and that Bob is a criminal nonetheless. We also notice Batman develop a cough giving us the impression that he is ill.

During the narratives, Batman is referred to as Scrooge. Rightfully so, Batman seems pretty intense and grouchy as all hell in the being of this book. His views towards Bob is pretty one sided. I kind of like this. It gives the idea that even Batman can be down in the dumps around the holidays and regardless of anything, he feels criminals have no excuses and should be viewed only as criminals with no other exceptions. Very Scrooge-like in how is will and way of thinking refuse to bend. The narrative also reminds us that Bruce will be visited by three ghosts.

As Alfred leaves Bruce to his thoughts, Wayne has a sudden memory of one of his previous Robin's, Jason Todd. This obviously is parallel to Scrooge's premonition in A Christmas Carol of his dead partner. After Bruce's memory is over, we segway to the top of GCPD, where Commissioner Gordon waits near the Batsignal. Batman appears expecting Gordon to have a lead on Joker. Gordon's tip is to track down Catwoman. Batman is enraged as he feels Gordon has wasted his time with such a weak lead claiming that Catwoman only plays games. The dark knight leaves in search of his female adversary. Gordon also comments on Batman's condition saying he should see a doctor.

Gordon and Batman atop GCPD
Batman catches Catwoman after a fresh robbery. The feline foe insists on chatting and play “cat and mouse.” Batman is not amused and is fed up with the same game the two play and just wants to know any information on Joker. Also, the narrative explains that Catwoman is the ghost of Christmas past. Selina tries to bring up memories of the long ago when Batman would chase her and the fun they had. Batman is still not amused. They engage in a scuffle as Batman's sickness appears to worsen which drives Catwoman to say that Batman is an “Old Man.” Batman chases Catwoman until he is forced to jump to the next building. He leaps but due to his illness, does not make it and falls to the alley below.

Memories brought forth from Catwoman; the ghost of Christmas past
During his fall and collapse, we see images of Bruce's parents. The stroll down Crime Alley and their eventual murder. Batman is left down in the snow but it then greeted by a strange glow. It is Superman, or as the narrative explains, the ghost of Christmas present. Superman offers Batman a literal “lift” back to his car but Batman requests a stop along the way. They fly to the outside window of Bob's apartment in which the two superheroes watch Bob and his son. Clark tries to get through to Bruce explaining that maybe there is a different meaning behind Bob's crime and reminds the dark knight that he has a son. Wayne responds negatively and judges Bob, once again, that he is but a criminal.

Superman appears; the ghost of Christmas present
Superman is saddened by Batman's view on society and attempts to show Batman the bright side of humanity. He flies Bruce to the outside window of Commissioner Gordon where we see that he and his wife have invited a beat cop in to warm up. They talk about Batman and Gordon explains that Batman walks a fine line between good and evil. But it is because he has an understanding and balance between them, that he feels that Batman is good and is required in Gotham. We get a sense that Batman might have a change of heart but it is short lived and shrugged away. Kent returns Wayne to the Batmobile and wishes him safety.

Batman clicks to unlock the Batmobile and is met by an explosion as his vehicle is blown to smithereens. Batman falls unconscious and the narrative leads us to the reveal of the final visitor; the ghost of Christmas future. Batman regains consciousness and is being dragged into a cemetery by the Joker. The Joker has prepared a grave for the caped crusader and chucks him in. Darkness descends as Batman is buried alive. During this time, he has horrible visions of what he may have left for the future with his death. He sees nothing but destruction and murder as vigilantes run through the streets, killing criminals, spouting the same motto and hard felt thoughts on criminals as the dark knight.

Joker; the ghost of Christmas future
I really liked Bermejo's view on the three ghosts in this book; Catwoman, Superman and Joker. Especially Superman and Joker. Superman's view as the ghost of Christmas present kind of made me chuckle because the way the narrative described him was almost the same as in the Dickens novel. And who else but the Joker would take Death's place as the ghost of Christmas future. The comparisons to the Dickens novel and Bermejo's interpretation are quite satisfying. I also liked how Batman's “Scrooge premonition” was Jason Todd.

Batman regains himself with a new sense of purpose and digs himself out of the grave. We cut to Bob's apartment where a knock is heard on the door and little Tim answers expecting Santa Claus. But it is the Joker with a snaring “Ho, ho, ho!” Joker enters the apartment in search of the money Bob lost. Bob tries to combat the villain but is met with quick failure followed by a loaded gun pointed at his face. Joker wants the money or he and his son are dead. As soon as the trigger is to be pulled, Batman crashes in and knocks Joker to the floor, disarming the firearm. Batman is countered and thrown to the side. Joker reaches for the gun but is beat by Bob, who points the gun towards Joker with fury and vengeance in mind. This leads to my favorite part and best line in the book. As Joker's fate is in Bob's hands, Batman pleads with the man. He then tells him to show his son “What a hero is.” I got shivers and paused in awe at this moment. Very powerful stuff.

Best part in the book
Bob drops the gun and eventually the Joker is arrested. But as all good Christmas stories end, Bob is greeted Christmas morning with a great gift. Movers bring in a large Christmas tree, followed by a feast of food and a repairman to fix the window. Bob is also given a job at Wayne Enterprises. We close the novel with Batman sleeping soundly in the Batcave and we discover that the narrator was Bob himself, telling the story to his son Tim.

Bob and Tim
This is a great novel. Bermejo really took a story like A Christmas Story and added Batman perfectly. I believed him the way he portrayed Batman as Scrooge and the idea that a man can change. It did go outside the box a bit, considering Batman is in Dickens plot, but it succeeds with flying colors. I think this may actually be my favorite Christmas story and therefore, I plan to experience and read it annually. The comparison to the Dickens novel and this one is interesting and somewhat humorous. If you're a fan of Batman or A Christmas Story, I think you will be stimulated and quite amused with this tale.

I also would like to note that I really enjoyed the works of Lee Bermejo. I hope he does more stories about the caped crusader. And is illustrations are beautiful and fun to look at. I think he has great talent and I hope his has more success as he continues to explode on the scene. I did read that he and Brian Azzarello are teaming up again to do the story for Rorschach in the new Before Watchmen series. Now, I will hold my opinions about this for now, but I think their talent together can do a great job.