Friday, January 4, 2013

Top 10 Mega Man Robot Masters (10-6)

Ok, I'm going to make one thing clear. When I say I'm a Mega Man fan, I'm talking about old school Mega Man; when it was at its best. Mega Mans 1 – 3. Not any of this charged buster gun, X armor collecting crap. The originals. The games that should have made you love Mega Man. Mega Man 2 is my favorite Mega Man. No slides, no charges; just jump, shoot and dodge. “But Tom, the new Mega Man games on XBL are like that!” NO! That's just remade garbage!! Did those games make me hum their stage music so much it annoyed all around me? Nope! The first three Mega Man games are the only ones that anyone should care about. But a game isn't as good as its bad guys(and believe me, I know a thing or two about being a badguy). I'm listing my Top 10 favorite Robot Masters from games 1 – 3 starting with rankings 10-6. Not going to lie; most of them are based on their stage music alone. And if the opening theme to Mega Man 2 was a robot master, it would be number one. Unfortunately, it is not, so it will have to settle for best game intro music ever created(ya damn right). And as hard as it is for me to forgo Dr. Wily's Castle bosses from Mega Man 2(cause the theme is one of the best), this is just for robot masters.

First off, I love Shadow Man's stage. I always thought the lava flowing in the background was so awesome when I was a kid. The parts where the lights go on and off added awesome challenge as well. The appeal of Shadow Man is quite simple: Ninja. As a child, I liked playing the Ninja Gaiden games and getting the big shuriken power up. When you defeat Shadow Man, you get the big ass ninja star to throw around. I used that thing all the time when playing 3. I love it. I think his design is awesome; I like the somewhat navy blue color and the big fuck off weapon taped to his head. I can definitely see him as a villain in an MGS game; no joke. I like how his stage music started somewhat upbeat and then leads into the chimes. Overall, the song feels smooth and has a killer beat. Then when the chorus kicks, what a thrill.

Raise your hand if you fell of the the moving ledges when you were a kid? Ok, raise your hand if you fell off 50 millions times when you were a kid? Gutsman's stage was a bitch, when I was like 5, but after getting through that, I love. The whole construction theme was pretty cool, but of course, the best part about Gutsman was getting his power. Pick up big fucking boulders and chuck'em. That shit is so much damn fun. I mean, Gutsman as a boss is really easy to beat, but his fat ass tossing square rocks always made me giggle. And I like this stage music too. When it opens, it sounds somewhat foreign. Then it gets into a type of business like mood; something that would fit robots in a construction site. Yeah, because, that's obviously a real thing that I would know about, lol. Though, I never really knew why they called him Gutsman. I'm assuming it's because he is super strong. Well, for whatever reason, it's one of the coolest names for a Robot Master(if there was some other name for him in the OG Japanese version, please don't tell me, I don't want Gutsman ruined for me).

Bombman has my favorite theme from Mega Man 1. It's so uplifting and just sounds plain fun. His stage is my favorite as well. A big ass future city with crazy shit every where. I always imagined I was jumping around on rooftops when I played that stage. The music is so fitting to it as well. Bombman's stage is pretty unique because the them doesn't really tie in with his character, you know, being made of fucking bombs. It's as if Mega Man is actually going through a legit location in the world and the bad guy is wrecking havoc in actual place, not just some lair. Now, Bombman is super easy to beat as well, but I really like the bomb tossing power you get. When are we going to see the show down of Bomberman, Mega Man and Link? Just a big bomb throwing orgy.

It's hard to argue that there is a cooler stage than Snake Man's stage. Bordered with snakeskin floors, ceilings, that all lead up to fighting big ass snake heads; hands down, one of the best Mega Man stages. Now, some might say his stage music is classic, I actually disagree. It's ok at best. In fact, Snake Man's weapon isn't even that great. Just snakes running on the ground. It's his stage and his graphic design that wins it for me. I always thought he looked like he wore a costume handed down from Cobra Commander from G.I. Joe. So as a kid, I always called him Cobra and pretended like Mega Man was a G.I. Joe sent to take out the Commander. Silly I know, but I was a kid, fuck off, lol.

As corny as this sounds, Magnet Man has a special place in my heart. When MM3 first came out, my brother and I were all over that shit. Magnet Man was our favorite robot master from this game. Why? His epic fucking pose before you fight him. My parents have so many pictures of my brother and I as kid striking that pose. Arm in front, arm in back, right leg straight leaning on the left leg bent; fuckin' real life memories, bro. His stage is awesome too. I would always fuck around with the huge magnets that suck you in the air. Go up as high as I could without getting hit. Magnet Man's weapon is ok and he's not hard to beat at all(I mean, at this point, are any of them? How many times have you played these games by now?) but every time I fight him, I remember the pose most of all. That's the one thing I will always keep in mind whenever someone brings up MM3, thanks to Magnet Man.

Come back next week and see how I finish out 5-1. I'm sure you'll have “two” times as much fun reading it.

Check out 5-1 here.


  1. I liked Mega Man 4, sorry. I thought it was the last fun one. I know who would be in my top five but I'll be interested to see who ends up in yours.

  2. It's hard for me to play one beyond 3. I thought they started getting too ridiculous, which is understandable. You can only have so many _____ Man.

  3. Gotta admit, I do like to slide and charge and the X series, but that's just me. =)

    Very nice list. Magnet Man does indeed have a freain' sweet pose. His overall design is also insanely cool.

    Snake Man has one of the coolest looking levels ever. And this is coming from a guy that HATES snakes!

  4. You know, it's funny: I never played the old Mega Man games as a kid (original or otherwise -- though I got Mega Man X Collection on GameCube a while back). With that in mind, I was listening to music from Street Fighter X Tekken one day, and I immediately picked out Cut Man's theme from Bad Box Art Mega Man's theme. Somehow, some way, I knew it by heart.

    It was creepy at first, but I guess it just goes to show how powerful and long-lasting a good song can be. Even hearing it once or twice is enough to make you remember it -- and get a little starry-eyed in the process.

    In any case, a cool list -- certainly much-appreciated from someone who doesn't know the original games. Still, a part of me's hoping Metal Man gets honored; that theme of his is something else. (At least, if YouTube is anything to go by.)

  5. I highly suggest you go back and play 1-3, bro. You're missing out on some classic shit. And lol @ bad box art Mega Man being in SFxTek. What an insult to all those poor Marvel fans that were crying because he wasn't in MvC3. I love it!

  6. Ditto on the snake hating bro, lol, but the stage is just so badass, I can overcome my Indiana Jones complex, XD

  7. The only think that sucks about Shadow Man is how you beat him - this awesome ninjabot is taken out by gay dancing Mega man as he uses Top Man's weapon.

  8. Which is weird because I believe the Top Spin is also used on one of the last bosses for a near instant kill. Kind of how Bubble Lead is used on one of the last bosses in MM2. Weird, how the somewhat crappy weapons end the last boss.